The Indian marriage ceremony is a taboo since ages. The tradition and have not changed but the names have changed. In our country marriage is an alliance between families not between the bride and groom. People consider the opinions of relatives more than the opinion of their son or daughter.
Ultimately the children are forced to marry their better half who is chosen by their parents. Apart from all this, the custom of dowry might have reduced to a certain extent but it is not completely extinct. As a tradition, the bride’s family asks something called ” Varadakshina ” apart from ” Kanyadanam “. Varadakshina is nothing but presents in form of money or jewellery or car’s etc to the Bridegroom after the marriage.
We commonly hear these phrases these days, ” Ladki wale hai aap log, apne damaad ko kuch na kuch to dena zaroori hota hai “. Ever wondered kuch na kuch kya hota? Don’t you feel they are indirectly asking for dowry? I am not offending anyone here. But this has become a custom. If we say the groom’s family that they are giving them a daughter rich with culture and tradition, voila! that’s somehow not acceptable. The Kuch na Kuch must be in form of money or jewellery. If a girl’s family can’t afford then the guy’s family will only put some money or jewellery and perform the task. But they don’t avoid it.
Let’s actually understand what is actually ” Varadakshina”.
After a daughter reaches the age of marriage, the father presents her with gifts like ornaments, sarees, and precious jewels. At the same time, the father presents her daughter with the bridegroom he chose. The bridegroom who is good in conduct, who is well versed with Vedas and shastras and who is humble and follows the righteous path. This totally means that the father is gifting her daughter a bridegroom. This was a very age-old tradition. Over years the terms and terminology have changed drastically.
So, “Vara” in this case, derived from ” Varudu ” means Bridegroom and Dakshina means gifting or donating daughter with a good husband.
The kanyadan and Varadakshina were given completely out of love and affection with no greedy behaviour. But Nowadays, The term Varadakshina has got changed so much that people think that apart from bearing all the costs of function, the marriage halls, the catering and the gifts, the father has to provide some extra money to the bridegroom on the name of Varakshina.
Isn’t that lame? They aren’t calling it dowry but the policy behind all this is still the same.
As long as you are Hindu, be it love or arranged, These customs and traditions won’t change. Will there be an end to such? No idea!
In case we are meeting for the first time. Hi, I am Monica, The nerdy storyteller!